


You’ve Got to Be Kitten Me!

by Fluffypanda



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Animal Transformation, Avengers Tower, Canon Divergence - Thor: The Dark World, Cat Loki (Marvel), Humor, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Lokitty, M/M, Pre-Slash, Shapeshifter Loki (Marvel), Stark Tower
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:15:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24368716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffypanda/pseuds/Fluffypanda
Summary: Thor returned from Asgard with a cat in tow
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Comments: 20
Kudos: 354





	You’ve Got to Be Kitten Me!

**Author's Note:**

> For my Frostiron bingo square B3 – genre: comedy
> 
> Hopefully this is at least a bit funny?

“It’s a trap. I know it’s a trap.”

Big green eyes blinked innocently up at Tony, but he couldn't pull his attention away from the fluffy belly, as black as night, stretched out below. He could hear a faint purr that seemed to be saying, _please pet me, I love you._

“Come on, don’t fall for it,” Clint jeered from atop the bookshelf.

Tony reached a hand out, pausing as he almost thought better of it, but then fully gathering his resolve. “I’m gonna do it”

For a moment all Tony felt was velvety soft fur under his fingers. Then he screamed in pain as claws mercilessly dug into his skin. A long string of swears streamed out of him as he tried to wrestle his hand back from the little monster that invaded his home.

Clint sighed into his beer. “What did you think would happen?”

* * *

Approximately twenty two hours before the tragic mauling of Tony’s hand, Thor returned from Asgard with a cat in tow. JARVIS informed Tony of a certain kind of energy reading forming above the newly dubbed Avengers Tower and the team tumbled out on to the roof just in time to see them arrived in a dazzling display of light.

“Hey, welcome back to Earth, Point Break. We saw your little kerfuffle in London. You couldn't have given us a heads up? Shot us an email?”

“I didn’t know you had a cat,” Natasha added, casting a suspicious look at the animal.

Said cat glared right back at them with bright green eyes before leaping off of Thor’s shoulder and heading inside to find a cozy spot to groom.

Thor followed the cat inside. “I had not the time to send word, Stark. My love was upon death’s door and Asgard on the brink of ruin.”

Tony nodded knowingly. “Personal life getting in the way? It happens to all of us. _Cap_.”

“You know what, Stark?”

“As for the cat, he is my brother,” Thor interrupted.

“Sorry, what was that?” Bruce asked, adjusting his glasses. “I thought you said he was your brother.”

“The cat is Loki.” Thor set his hammer down and took a seat on the couch.

Everyone’s head snapped over to where the cat (or Loki, if Tony took Thor at his word) was now licking his own asshole. He paused to level them an unimpressed look before resuming his business.

Clint’s eyes never left Loki as he asked, “How? And why is he with us and not in prison?”

“When the Svartálfar brought war to our doors, Loki went through great pains to protect our mother, likely saving her life. It was determined that he was owed a boon.”

“So you guys just let him go free?” Clint threw his hands in the air.

“Loki’s sole wish was to live outside his cell walls and he agreed to any bindings deemed necessary to allow that,” Thor rumbled, patience clearly thinning. But in the next moment he sighed and allowed his voice to soften. “He is naturally gifted in shapeshifting and as such he was many forms, all each aspects of himself. Mother always an affinity for this form, so it is no surprise that she chose to bind him so.”

Suddenly Natasha sprang to her feet. “Guys, where’s Loki?”

The sound of smashing glass echoed across the room. Somehow in the five seconds no one was watching Loki, he’d gotten up on the bar and started knocking things over.

Unsurprisingly, this set the tone for the duration of Loki’s stay at Avengers tower.

* * *

By the end of the night Loki had stolen everyone’s phones and hidden them in obscure and hard to reach places, taken a single bite out of every container of take out at dinner and vomited it all up in Thor’s bed, and made a habit of hiding under the couch and swiping at the legs of anyone who walked too close. All in all, like something out of _My Cat From Hell_ , but not really what Tony expected from someone who tried to conquer Earth an alien army.

“Are we even sure that the cat’s actually Loki?” Tony finally asked over breakfast. Loki (supposedly) chose to situate himself on top of Tony’s lap and nab bites of bacon off of Tony’s plate. “How can we be sure he didn’t pull a switcheroo on us?”

“I am certain that’s my brother. His binding makes him unmistakable to me.”

Tony looked down at Loki, who was nuzzling his stomach affectionately. “Did it mess with his head too?”

“His mind is his own, though it would be false to say shape does not hold any sway over our perceptions of the world,” Thor said, leaving Tony to wonder how much of Loki’s behavior was pure cat and how much was Loki being a little shit.

He was still wondering when Steve helped him bandage his hand following Tony’s slight miscalculation.

* * *

“Why do you think he did it?” Bruce asked, while looking over lab results.

Tony typed in another line of code. “What’s that, Green Bean?”

“Why do you think Loki took the deal to be chained to Thor as a _cat_? Doesn’t exactly seem worth it for a little bit of freedom.”

“He clearly having the time of his life messing with us. Did you know I found him camping out in the bathroom? He was just staring at me when I went in there.” Tony shuddered at the memory of suddenly finding glowing green eyes on him while he was doing his business. “But my money is on some sort of elaborate and diabolical scheme to gain our trust and take us out.”

Bruce crossed his arms and appeared to think it over. “You might be right, but I can’t help but think that there have to be better ways of doing that.”

“What’s your theory then?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe he’s lonely? It’s a stupid idea,” Bruce said, waving his hand as if to shove the thought away.

“Diabolical scheme it is then,” Tony said, returning to his work.

* * *

Tony woke to a small warmth pressed against his side. _Loki_ , he muzzily realized. Loki was in his bed and _purring_. Tony tried to decide if he wanted to do something about it, but all he could think about was what Bruce said. In the end, Tony was simply too tired to deal with it, so he just turned over and went back to sleep.

He regretted it about twenty minutes later when he woke a second time with a feline ass in his face.


End file.
